Pasty (n)
The building block of all life. The classic Westcountry pastry sheath that has come to represent all that is virtuous in our Millennial culture. Users should note generic sub-divisions: the 'Shortcrust' - compact and ergonomically designed for speedier flight - and 'Flaky' - the connoisseur's choice but to be treated with respect by the inquisitve amateur. Users should also be aware of the 'Chunion' - designed for the vegetarian market but considered generally inferior to its meatier brethren.

Good Action (excl.)
A cry from the belly of the Hope Pixie. Can be exclaimed in wild abandon at any chink of good news. Has also been known to be accompanied by a modest jig.

Chutney Elf (n)
A term of blessed endearment. "Oh come for a rumble in the undergrowth, you sparkling Chutney Elf" is a refrain to be heard almost frequently at ...inexplicable... HQ. Some confusion for the novice lies in its modern, ironic useage; however, tone of voice and cut of trouser is a useful guide in diving the user's true sentiments.

Burstage (n)
Large spurt of liquid (usually water although there have been several notable exceptions) that needs reporting to the relevant authorities with all due haste.

Pleb (n, adj, vb, adv)
One of the most widely used (and abused) entires in the ...inexplicable... lexicon; however, its charm is in this versatilty. Can be used, with a degree of imagination, in every given arena. Some more popular varients include: Nurse's Pleb (n) the polar opposite of Chutney Elf (qv); the insult of insults and one that should be reserved for the most abhorrent of personages or situations - Pleb Me! (excl.) - the discerning speaker's "Oh I say" - Plebbed Up (adv) confusingly, a job well done or a job done very badly - Pleb Back Your Ears! (excl.) - sit up and pay attention, the Ringmaster™ craves your attention.

Whiskey (n)
Coffee.

Sherry (n)
Tea.

Tea (n)
Brown drinky.

Okehampton (pr.n.)
The ...inexplicable...equivalent of being sent to Coventry. If anything is unpleasant, or indeed beyond comprehension, it is said to occur "Just outside Okehampton".

It's Good To Sit Down (excl.)
Well, it is, isn't it?

Bovey Tracey (pr.n.)
The Centre of the Known Universe.

-age (suffx)
The suffix for every occasion; should be used wherever possible and indeed wherever impossibleage. More famous examples include Foodage and Burstage (qv).

Crunching Matador (n)
A rare but nevertheless endearing alternative to Chutney Elf. Users should note the harsh vowel sounds make this term unacceptable early on Sunday mornings.

Not Bad (er .. words)
The response that you will get from Al (the one with the guitar) when you enquire after his health.

Crap You/Crap Off (inslt)
The verbal equivalent of a sharp punch to an assailant's rib cage. Should always be exclaimed in a Bristolian accent.

Old Man's Smile (np)
A warm glow similar to a post-coital yawn or the lingering sunset over Bovey Tracey on a summer's evening.

The time for talking is over. (excl)
The time for talking is about to start.

Cow's Crooked Cock (inslt.)
A wonderful way of winning any argument (or indeed Interesting Bovine Genetalia Competitions).

Palms Up (excl)
Used to welcome good news, much like Good Action, but accompanied by a general lifting of palms to heaven (and sometimes psalms as well).

Daft German (n)
The nomenclature lovingly attached to our esteemed (and somewhat Teutonic) producer/director/motivator and supplier of fine German beers.

Liquid Chaffinch (np)
Another ...inexplicable... superlative. More adventurous speakers may like to follow Kris's lead and apply the prefix Liquid to a wider range of animals and philosophical concepts, eg. Badger, Catholicism, Haricot Vert, Deconstructionism etc.

Jig/Jigging/Jiggery Pokery (n)
The Celtic rhythm that pulses through ...inexplicable... veins, resulting in complex dance steps and a predeliction for throwing up one's arms in ecstasy. All manner of varients and accessories are available to interested parties: Jigging Boots, Jigging Crowns, Jigging Tabards etc.

Thank you Sir, Dennis Sir! (excl.)
Roughly equivalent to "I am grateful for your assistance" but much of the true meaning is lost in translation.

Crimp My Crust! (excl.)
A craving for attention with a certain rudey sub-text. Note etymological progression from pasty vocab.

Wytches (n)
The name given to the marauding tribes of West Cornwall, notable for their yellow sausage hats and purple tesco saris. ...inexplicable... are currently funding an investigation into that age-old question "How many wytches are there in Spain?". If you have any information on this topic then please contact us in the normal way.